One man’s hard work drives him to success

Today’s media and news outlets are chock full of nuts.  Most certainly if someone sat (after having been strapped to a chair with their eyes glued open) and watched hour upon hour of so-called news related stories, I would bet the house on the majority of the stories being negative.

Of course the news is a vehicle for information, current events and matters taking place in real time. But when some detached almost-smiling newscaster is hard pressed to contain their excitement over the possibility this new tragedy could be their ticket to the big times—there’s a problem. Overall it comes across as if human beings ‘do nothing’ but harm, steal, maim, rape, kill or exploit each other for sport, gain or simply personal achievement.

However there are times when more than just a quick twenty second feel good story is reported. Hope is restored and the heavens can rejoice that just maybe all is not lost.  Maybe I’m being overly dramatic, but I do so to make a point.  Life is both good and bad, pretty and ugly and everything in between.

Personally I’m a big believer in the goodness of life and definitely not delusional.  When life gives you lemons…cut that sucker in half sprinkle some salt and savor the taste of the sour/salty combo.

When I came across a “human interest” story which is positive and showed humanity in a bright light, it had to be shared.

An employer took the time to show an employee how much the company valued him and his service. Get this—they bought the guy a brand new automobile as a gift of appreciation.

This is what happened: Chris Ninos thought he was merely going to lunch with co-workers and had to stop by a Ford dealership to pick up the company’s CEO, Brandon Rosen.  When he walked into the dealership, he was handed the keys to a new car.  It’s reported Ninos said, “Some people said they thought I was going to have a coronary right there.”  It’s an actual gift; the title is in his name. It’s not a company car, according to the SunSentinel.

The company didn’t merely reward him for showing up.  They did so because he shows out.  Rosen reportedly said Ninos is the first to show up and the last to leave even working on holidays.

There’s no indication that Chris Ninos went to work every day expecting his employer to buy him a new car.  The man was merely doing his job with a gusto and passion he obviously felt toward his responsibilities.  The employer greatly appreciated his effort, dedication and output and as a sign of their sincere appreciation presented it in the form of a car.

That’s way cool, don’t you think?

Discover your reason to appreciate life

The clear bluest green waters roared as if it had a voice.  The sun was shining as if the voltage was turned so far up even the shadows weren’t as dark.  All around me as I lay on a brightly colored beach towel the sounds of laughter filled the air.  Children played in the ocean as adults played alongside them as if they were recapturing their own childhood.  My own wife had abandoned me for hours as she frolicked in the waters of the great Pacific Ocean.  Periodically I would look up to spot her before the waters sucked her back in. Hawaii was quickly becoming my wife’s new lover.  I relished in her glee and reflected on my own life as I enjoyed the warm sun as it further baked my already brown skin.

I am a true believer in reflection.  In doing so it does put things into their proper perspective.  As the clock of life ticked on Nov. 8, I reached another milestone—50 years of age.  Wow!  Just yesterday I was partying like its 1999 and doggone it was.  Time may fly, but life can seem to go as fast as the speed of sound.

Therefore as I relaxed in the sun, on the beautiful beach on the magnificent island of Oahu my mental DVD player came on and I reflected in increments of 10.

Being born in the early part of the ‘60s, I was too young to know all that was happening in the world-- from JFK, MLK and RFK being assassinated, to the Cuban Missile Crisis to the Civil Rights Movement.  However in 1972 my awareness was peaked with the brutal murder of my 15 year old uncle.  At the age of 10, I started to have an appreciation for life through death.  In 1982 my beloved grandmother was needed in heaven and my appreciation for life increased even more.  Tragically in 1992 my younger sister died in her sleep.  Again that brought forth a greater appreciation for life.

Over the past 20 years I haven’t experienced any other close relatives passing (thank God) but my overall appreciation for life has grown as if it was a planted field and I’m enjoying the harvest.

Life is a blessing.  Life is a gift.  Life is to be treasured.  Life shouldn’t be wasted.  Please don’t let a death be the catalyst for you to appreciate your own life.  Allow the message contained in the above words touch the spirit of life that breathes in each of us.  And for those that missed it—APPRECIATE LIFE!

7 simple ways to never giving up

John T. spent 48 years of his life in the ‘system.’  At the age of three his drug addicted mother could no longer care for a small child so she sent him to live with her aging and in ill-health mother.  That arrangement lasted for less than a week before social services had to step in.  For the next 11 years, John was a ward of the state bounced from one foster home to another.  When he turned 14, John was sent to juvenile detention for joyriding in a ‘borrowed-without-permission’ automobile. Upon his release at the age of 18 he was able to last two months on the ‘outside’ before committing the crime of assault and battery and that owned him a five year engagement at a state institution for the criminally inclined.  John served the entire term.

At this point one may think that he learned a lesson or maybe had a coming-to-the-lord moment. Not quite.  In fact John quickly met up with several past guests of the state and embarked on a new venture—robbing banks.  Short story even shorter, he was caught and sent away, this time his room was reserved at the federal level.  Twenty years of living in a cage for less than $10,000 earned during his so-called bank robbery spree.

Again he served the entire term.  When he was released John was placed on five years of supervised probation.  Even though he wasn’t any longer in a prison of bars, he was still in captivity albeit on the ‘outside.’

I met John based on an introduction made by one of my life coaching clients.  He had just completed his final year of probation.  For a grown adult male, he didn’t have a clue how to live a productive life.  His greatest fear centered on going back to prison.  And I thought that was a great thing, because if he used that fear as fuel, I believed he was well on his way to beginning to truly live.

He figured that the process would be arduous, long and involve methods that would make his prison stay seem like a walk on the beach during sunset.

Listed below are the seven simple ways I provided John to assist him in not giving up:

1.       Sunday

2.       Monday

3.       Tuesday

4.       Wednesday

5.       Thursday

6.       Friday

7.       Saturday

Yep…that’s it, nothing mystical or magical about it.  Every day is a new day full of potential.  Even though yesterday may have been rough and today is tough, one of the greatest blessings in life is tomorrow. Never give up, never give out and never quit.  You never know where life can lead you, just keep living.

Our children’s education matters

A famous song (GreatestLove of All) rings out, “I believe the children are our future.  Treat them well and let them lead the way.  Show them all the beauty they possess inside.  Give them a sense of pride to make it easier.”

My wife and I went to see the newly released movie, ‘Won’t Back Down,’ starring Maggie Gyllenhaal and Viola Davis.  The film centered on the ParentTrigger Law which was passed in California and other states in 2010.  The law allows parents to enforce administrative overhaul and overrule administrators in under-performing public schools if petitioned.  If successful, petitions allow parents to direct changes which could lead to dismissal of staff and the potential conversion of a school to a charter school.

Keeping in mind that Hollywood does have a tendency to glamorize most issues, I found the film to be slightly watered down in regards to the children.  They were used as accessories to the story.  The entire film centered on the fight between two strong willed women and a stubborn self-serving union man along with his trusty sidekick, a burned out woman who was torn between being right and doing the right thing.

The film showed teachers caring more about their seniority and benefits than caring about educating the children.  It showed the teachers union as a bunch of jerks with the leader of the union stating kids weren’t important because they didn’t pay union dues.  One of the slimiest moments of the film was when the character played by Holly Hunter attempted to bribe one of the mothers.

Overall I believe this is a movie worth seeing so that the focus on quality….no make that….superior education remains as one of the foremost benefits we can provide our children.

Sometimes I wonder if the struggles of the past have been completely forgotten.  Does anyone remember Brown vs. Boardof Education?  How about James Meredith?   In North America—the land of the brave and free, there are adults that simply can’t read.  When an adult can’t read, is it lost on folks that they couldn’t do so as a child?

Education is not a game played for victory by school unions, teachers or well meaning parents as the movie depicted.  It is about the children!  And they certainly deserve better than they are getting from a lackluster school system or ridiculous measures that moves a child along because they were taught to the test (No child left behind Act).

Won’t back down should be a mantra cited by every one of us and we should add to that, ‘won’t turn our backs on our children.’  When kids must go through a metal detector to enter schools and are not able to enter a school library due to cutbacks there is indeed a serious problem.  How can kids have a future if adults are taking away their present?  For our kids sake…don’t back down!

Simple suggestions to answering the knock of opportunity

“Opportunities only knock once.”  How many times have you heard that one? But is it really true?  Does the statement really make sense?  I will stand on the side of boldness and say, “That’s hogwash.”

Every day brings forth a newness, therefore it would stand to reason that another opportunity will come knocking in some form or fashion.  The real question is this, “Will you recognize opportunity when it knocks and will you be prepared to take advantage of it?”

In North America not a single human being is denied the right to live free and able.  Even those that have chosen to live outside of the laws most of us follow have spoken out on the greatness of the chances available.  Take the notorious criminal Al Capone (Jan. 17, 1899 – Jan. 25, 1947) for an example when he was once quoted as saying, “This American system of ours…call it Americanism, call it capitalism, call it what you like, gives to each and every one of us a great opportunity if we only seize it with both hands and make the most of it.” Powerful insight from a crook, don’t you think?

Are you making the most out of opportunities that may come your way?  Are you currently preparing yourself for the possibilities of an opportunity?  Simply sitting around waiting for the phone to ring isn’t preparation.  There isn’t a better time to get started than today.

Listed below are some simple suggestions to assist in preparation to answer the knock:

Be open-minded:  Opportunities don’t always come wrapped in an identifiable way.

Embrace learning:  You are never too old, too young or too smart to learn something new.

Be aware of self-inflected limitations:  Don’t be afraid to give something a chance just because it may be something you haven’t ever considered. (I’m only talking about the legal, ethical and moral aspects of life—to be clear).

Embrace networking:  Step outside of circles or influences that may limit new opportunities.

Seek guidance:  Don’t be afraid to ask for assistance and pick the brains of folks making positive forward strides.

Volunteer or intern:  By exposing others to your talents and abilities you can open more doors in the future.

Continue or start to work on making yourself a better more rounded individual:  Read, read and then read some more.  Invest in books, CD’s or seminars as learning tools.

Let it be known:  If Dr. Whatshisname isn’t aware that you have an interest in pharmacy how can he assist you.

Life is full of opportunities and those that are able to take advantage of them have one thing in common – they were prepared.

Five suggestions for resurrecting love

The loss of a loved one can have a devastating effect.   It can be especially difficult to overcome when the loved one left voluntarily.  No it wasn’t a death or an illness that took them away.  It was the break-up, the end of a relationship whether it entailed marriage or a mutual agreement of being together as one.  Over time life became or appeared to become so complicated that you just couldn’t take anymore.  The many things that could bring forth a smile now annoys to the point of etching a permanent frown on the face.  The time where the thought of being without that person could bring you to tears has passed only to be replaced by the tears that come from being with that person. 

The heart wants what it wants when and whom it may want—even if the one it wants no longer shares the emotion.  I don’t know if the organ can physically break in half, but it darn sure can feel like it has when pain enters its domain.  The sun doesn’t appear to shine as bright and the darkness of night isn’t welcome. 

Every love song being played on the radio or on the ever-present new wave listening device reminds you of lost times and the one that got away.  Your entire being screams, “What’s wrong with me?  Why couldn’t he/she love me for me?”  Answers don’t come with the questions and self-doubt creeps in like an uninvited guest that refuses to leave.  And the pain…oh my gosh…the pain.  No other word can aptly do it justice.  It can be explained in graphic detail, but in the end it all comes back to, pain. 

The ability to love can lead to the possibility of being hurt.  But even though there’s a probability of that fact, it shouldn’t make us run from love.  Life is full of the flip side of the coin.  Can we avoid or escape the negatives of life?  NO!  Can we take every encounter of life and learn and grow from them?  YES!

 

Life is love and love is life and all that comes with it.  Listed below are five suggestions for living a life of resurrected love:

 

1.    Seek to love yourself unconditionally: learn to accept that you are human and  capable of making mistakes.  Check yourself before trying to correct others.

2.    Seek to forgive yourself: once you make the inevitable mistakes, learn from them and move past them.  Be open to forgiving others.

3.    Seek to live with an open heart and mind: don’t block your blessings with self-imposed limitations.

4.    Seek to not settle for less than: don’t pick a mate based on your own shallowness, i.e. the car he/she drives or how good he/she may look.

5.    Seek to be honest with yourself at all times: the first partaker of a lie is the one speaking it.

 Remember we cannot make anyone love us, but we can certainly love ourselves.

Forgiveness is within

No matter our ethnicity, age, social bracket or even economic status, at some point in life all of us will seek to receive, give freely or even begrudgingly—forgiveness.  To err against another is as akin to mankind as stripes are to a zebra.  It may come in different patterns, but it’s still identifiable. When that happens we are faced with the challenge (and I do mean challenge) of choosing to forgive the transgressor or carry that transgression around as if it was a possession.

To forgive is to stop feeling angry or resentful toward (someone) for an offense, flaw, or mistake. How do men and women view forgiveness?  Are their thoughts on the matter universal?  In an attempt to answer those questions, I conducted an unscientific and random survey of 50 women and 50 men between the ages of 26 and 70.

Each individual was asked the following five questions. The questions were asked not for elaboration, but merely a yes or no answer and all parties involved consented to do so. The results were quite interesting and revealing despite its lack of science.

1.       Do you believe in forgiveness?

2.       Have you ever sincerely asked someone to forgive you?

3.       Do you consider yourself to be a forgiving person?

4.       Do you truly move past the incident once you have forgiven someone?

5.       Do you forgive yourself?

The findings were as follows:

1.       60% of the woman believed in forgiveness compared to 100% of the men.  

2.       Whereas 100% of women had sincerely asked for forgiveness, 20% of the men hadn’t.  

3.      While 100% of women considered themselves to be a forgiving person, only 60% of the men claimed likewise.  

4.      80% of the women surveyed said they do not move past the incident even though they claim to forgive.  Surprisingly 80% of the men stated they do move past the incident once forgiven. 

5.      The last question was indeed an eye opener.  When asked about forgiving oneself, each female surveyed responded quickly and without hesitation and 60% admitted to being capable of forgiving themselves.  When posed with the same question to a man each one paused and some even did so for over a minute or more before answering and 80% responded with a resounding no, they do not forgive themselves.

How would you answer the above listed five questions?  In all of us there is room for growth, improvement and change.  Let’s start with developing the ability to forgive and the first one that benefits from that should be—YOU.         

The English poet Alexander Pope (1688-1744) once wrote and it is so apt, “To err is human, to forgive divine.”