Are you tough enough

Back in the day when I played sports the coach would give a dramatic pre-game speech that was meant to motivate and inspire the team to victory.  Inevitably a coach would state an age old cliché, “When the going gets tough the tough get going.”

That statement has been attributed to Joseph P. Kennedy father of slain President John F. Kennedy.  However eight years before Kennedy used the phrase the late great Notre Dame Football coach Frank Leahy  reportedly said, “When the going gets tough, let the tough get going.”

In my humble opinion, the differences between the two statements are subtle, but read them again. Mr. Kennedy’s words speak to an action that anyone that ‘is’ tough can do.  Meanwhile Mr. Leahy’s statement speaks to the action being something that anyone can do who desires to be.

Zac Vawter lost his right leg in a motorcycle accident.  Through the wonders of technology he was able to receive not just a prosthetic limb but a mind-controlled bionic limb.  Overcoming all odds and truly defining toughness, he climbed 103 stories to get to the top of Chicago’s famous Sears Willis Tower becoming the first person with a bionic limb to accomplish such a feat.  Can you imagine how rough his road to recovery had to have been both mentally as well as physically?  Yet he beat back doubt, maybe some self-pity and developed a “yes I can” attitude and truly stepped up.

What obstacle did Agatha Christie, Magic Johnson, Cher, Danny Glover, Tom Cruise, Whoopi Goldberg, and even General George S. Patton had to overcome in order to achieve their own success?  They all are or had Dyslexia.  Don’t you think a person must have a certain level of internally ingrained toughness to surmount a learning disability?

No matter where you are in life.  No matter how great the obstacle may appear.  No matter your age, gender, sexual orientation, or any other thing you may see as a hindrance.  Be encouraged! Victory is at hand, but unless you get into the game you’ll never know how tough you really are.

Human beings have faced wars, famine, acts of God, economic downturns, political failure and a host of tragedies and did more than just survive.  We are conquerors!  If a (neither disrespect intended nor a pun) one legged man can climb thousands of steps to get to the top and people with an often looked down upon and misdiagnosed affliction can learn to function successfully—can you sincerely say, “I’m not tough enough.”

Instead of fleeting motivation try inspiration

The alarm clock cuts through the stillness of early morning quiet.  You jump out of bed ready to conquer the world.  Your motivation level is at an all-time high.  Surely the honey-do list will get completed right after working an eight or more hour day.  You are motivated to make it happen.

Then something does happen.  You spill coffee on your shirt/blouse.  The kids won’t cooperate and are at risk of missing the school bus.  Traffic is moving so slow, a one leg dude on a tricycle beats you to work.  Now your motivation is only a memory of what could have been.

Many people ask themselves, “Why do I find it so hard to stay motivated?”  Life isn’t lived on autopilot. No matter the best of intentions, things will and can occur that are outside of our control.  Big burst of excitement or high levels of energy attached to a particular situation can dissipate in the blink of an eye.

However there are times when stimulation and inspiration can far outpace the flightiness of interrupted motivation.  To be stimulated is to raise the level of physiological activity in the body or mind.  To be inspired is to embark on mental stimuli to do or feel something which can lead to creativity.

One method of receiving stimulated inspiration is from quotes that can become a mantra (often repeated word or phrase) to live by.

Here are some that has withstood the test of time.

1.       “The trouble with not having a goal is that you can spend your life running up and down the field and never score.”  Bill Copeland

2.       “All of our dreams can come true—if we have the courage to pursue them.”  Walt Disney

3.       “I haven’t failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.”  Thomas Edison

4.       “It’s not whether you get knocked down; it’s whether you get up.”  Vince Lombardi

5.       “20 years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did do.  So throw off the bowlines.  Sail away from the safe harbor.  Catch the trade winds in your sails.  Explore.  Dream.  Discover.”  Mark Twain

6.       “Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life.”  Confucius

7.       “When you come to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on.”  Franklin D. Roosevelt

8.       “You must be the change you want to see in the world.”  Gandhi

9.       “I’ve missed more than 9000 shots in my career.  I’ve lost almost 300 games.  26 times, I’ve been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed.  I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life.  And that is why I succeed.”  Michael Jordan

10.   “I know for sure that what we dwell on is who we become.”  Oprah Winfrey

Pick one, pick two or choose to use them all.  By planting positive seeds, one day you will be able to harvest a field of possibilities that can change your life for the better…if you are inspired enough to do so.

One man’s hard work drives him to success

Today’s media and news outlets are chock full of nuts.  Most certainly if someone sat (after having been strapped to a chair with their eyes glued open) and watched hour upon hour of so-called news related stories, I would bet the house on the majority of the stories being negative.

Of course the news is a vehicle for information, current events and matters taking place in real time. But when some detached almost-smiling newscaster is hard pressed to contain their excitement over the possibility this new tragedy could be their ticket to the big times—there’s a problem. Overall it comes across as if human beings ‘do nothing’ but harm, steal, maim, rape, kill or exploit each other for sport, gain or simply personal achievement.

However there are times when more than just a quick twenty second feel good story is reported. Hope is restored and the heavens can rejoice that just maybe all is not lost.  Maybe I’m being overly dramatic, but I do so to make a point.  Life is both good and bad, pretty and ugly and everything in between.

Personally I’m a big believer in the goodness of life and definitely not delusional.  When life gives you lemons…cut that sucker in half sprinkle some salt and savor the taste of the sour/salty combo.

When I came across a “human interest” story which is positive and showed humanity in a bright light, it had to be shared.

An employer took the time to show an employee how much the company valued him and his service. Get this—they bought the guy a brand new automobile as a gift of appreciation.

This is what happened: Chris Ninos thought he was merely going to lunch with co-workers and had to stop by a Ford dealership to pick up the company’s CEO, Brandon Rosen.  When he walked into the dealership, he was handed the keys to a new car.  It’s reported Ninos said, “Some people said they thought I was going to have a coronary right there.”  It’s an actual gift; the title is in his name. It’s not a company car, according to the SunSentinel.

The company didn’t merely reward him for showing up.  They did so because he shows out.  Rosen reportedly said Ninos is the first to show up and the last to leave even working on holidays.

There’s no indication that Chris Ninos went to work every day expecting his employer to buy him a new car.  The man was merely doing his job with a gusto and passion he obviously felt toward his responsibilities.  The employer greatly appreciated his effort, dedication and output and as a sign of their sincere appreciation presented it in the form of a car.

That’s way cool, don’t you think?

Discover your reason to appreciate life

The clear bluest green waters roared as if it had a voice.  The sun was shining as if the voltage was turned so far up even the shadows weren’t as dark.  All around me as I lay on a brightly colored beach towel the sounds of laughter filled the air.  Children played in the ocean as adults played alongside them as if they were recapturing their own childhood.  My own wife had abandoned me for hours as she frolicked in the waters of the great Pacific Ocean.  Periodically I would look up to spot her before the waters sucked her back in. Hawaii was quickly becoming my wife’s new lover.  I relished in her glee and reflected on my own life as I enjoyed the warm sun as it further baked my already brown skin.

I am a true believer in reflection.  In doing so it does put things into their proper perspective.  As the clock of life ticked on Nov. 8, I reached another milestone—50 years of age.  Wow!  Just yesterday I was partying like its 1999 and doggone it was.  Time may fly, but life can seem to go as fast as the speed of sound.

Therefore as I relaxed in the sun, on the beautiful beach on the magnificent island of Oahu my mental DVD player came on and I reflected in increments of 10.

Being born in the early part of the ‘60s, I was too young to know all that was happening in the world-- from JFK, MLK and RFK being assassinated, to the Cuban Missile Crisis to the Civil Rights Movement.  However in 1972 my awareness was peaked with the brutal murder of my 15 year old uncle.  At the age of 10, I started to have an appreciation for life through death.  In 1982 my beloved grandmother was needed in heaven and my appreciation for life increased even more.  Tragically in 1992 my younger sister died in her sleep.  Again that brought forth a greater appreciation for life.

Over the past 20 years I haven’t experienced any other close relatives passing (thank God) but my overall appreciation for life has grown as if it was a planted field and I’m enjoying the harvest.

Life is a blessing.  Life is a gift.  Life is to be treasured.  Life shouldn’t be wasted.  Please don’t let a death be the catalyst for you to appreciate your own life.  Allow the message contained in the above words touch the spirit of life that breathes in each of us.  And for those that missed it—APPRECIATE LIFE!

7 simple ways to never giving up

John T. spent 48 years of his life in the ‘system.’  At the age of three his drug addicted mother could no longer care for a small child so she sent him to live with her aging and in ill-health mother.  That arrangement lasted for less than a week before social services had to step in.  For the next 11 years, John was a ward of the state bounced from one foster home to another.  When he turned 14, John was sent to juvenile detention for joyriding in a ‘borrowed-without-permission’ automobile. Upon his release at the age of 18 he was able to last two months on the ‘outside’ before committing the crime of assault and battery and that owned him a five year engagement at a state institution for the criminally inclined.  John served the entire term.

At this point one may think that he learned a lesson or maybe had a coming-to-the-lord moment. Not quite.  In fact John quickly met up with several past guests of the state and embarked on a new venture—robbing banks.  Short story even shorter, he was caught and sent away, this time his room was reserved at the federal level.  Twenty years of living in a cage for less than $10,000 earned during his so-called bank robbery spree.

Again he served the entire term.  When he was released John was placed on five years of supervised probation.  Even though he wasn’t any longer in a prison of bars, he was still in captivity albeit on the ‘outside.’

I met John based on an introduction made by one of my life coaching clients.  He had just completed his final year of probation.  For a grown adult male, he didn’t have a clue how to live a productive life.  His greatest fear centered on going back to prison.  And I thought that was a great thing, because if he used that fear as fuel, I believed he was well on his way to beginning to truly live.

He figured that the process would be arduous, long and involve methods that would make his prison stay seem like a walk on the beach during sunset.

Listed below are the seven simple ways I provided John to assist him in not giving up:

1.       Sunday

2.       Monday

3.       Tuesday

4.       Wednesday

5.       Thursday

6.       Friday

7.       Saturday

Yep…that’s it, nothing mystical or magical about it.  Every day is a new day full of potential.  Even though yesterday may have been rough and today is tough, one of the greatest blessings in life is tomorrow. Never give up, never give out and never quit.  You never know where life can lead you, just keep living.

Our children’s education matters

A famous song (GreatestLove of All) rings out, “I believe the children are our future.  Treat them well and let them lead the way.  Show them all the beauty they possess inside.  Give them a sense of pride to make it easier.”

My wife and I went to see the newly released movie, ‘Won’t Back Down,’ starring Maggie Gyllenhaal and Viola Davis.  The film centered on the ParentTrigger Law which was passed in California and other states in 2010.  The law allows parents to enforce administrative overhaul and overrule administrators in under-performing public schools if petitioned.  If successful, petitions allow parents to direct changes which could lead to dismissal of staff and the potential conversion of a school to a charter school.

Keeping in mind that Hollywood does have a tendency to glamorize most issues, I found the film to be slightly watered down in regards to the children.  They were used as accessories to the story.  The entire film centered on the fight between two strong willed women and a stubborn self-serving union man along with his trusty sidekick, a burned out woman who was torn between being right and doing the right thing.

The film showed teachers caring more about their seniority and benefits than caring about educating the children.  It showed the teachers union as a bunch of jerks with the leader of the union stating kids weren’t important because they didn’t pay union dues.  One of the slimiest moments of the film was when the character played by Holly Hunter attempted to bribe one of the mothers.

Overall I believe this is a movie worth seeing so that the focus on quality….no make that….superior education remains as one of the foremost benefits we can provide our children.

Sometimes I wonder if the struggles of the past have been completely forgotten.  Does anyone remember Brown vs. Boardof Education?  How about James Meredith?   In North America—the land of the brave and free, there are adults that simply can’t read.  When an adult can’t read, is it lost on folks that they couldn’t do so as a child?

Education is not a game played for victory by school unions, teachers or well meaning parents as the movie depicted.  It is about the children!  And they certainly deserve better than they are getting from a lackluster school system or ridiculous measures that moves a child along because they were taught to the test (No child left behind Act).

Won’t back down should be a mantra cited by every one of us and we should add to that, ‘won’t turn our backs on our children.’  When kids must go through a metal detector to enter schools and are not able to enter a school library due to cutbacks there is indeed a serious problem.  How can kids have a future if adults are taking away their present?  For our kids sake…don’t back down!

Simple suggestions to answering the knock of opportunity

“Opportunities only knock once.”  How many times have you heard that one? But is it really true?  Does the statement really make sense?  I will stand on the side of boldness and say, “That’s hogwash.”

Every day brings forth a newness, therefore it would stand to reason that another opportunity will come knocking in some form or fashion.  The real question is this, “Will you recognize opportunity when it knocks and will you be prepared to take advantage of it?”

In North America not a single human being is denied the right to live free and able.  Even those that have chosen to live outside of the laws most of us follow have spoken out on the greatness of the chances available.  Take the notorious criminal Al Capone (Jan. 17, 1899 – Jan. 25, 1947) for an example when he was once quoted as saying, “This American system of ours…call it Americanism, call it capitalism, call it what you like, gives to each and every one of us a great opportunity if we only seize it with both hands and make the most of it.” Powerful insight from a crook, don’t you think?

Are you making the most out of opportunities that may come your way?  Are you currently preparing yourself for the possibilities of an opportunity?  Simply sitting around waiting for the phone to ring isn’t preparation.  There isn’t a better time to get started than today.

Listed below are some simple suggestions to assist in preparation to answer the knock:

Be open-minded:  Opportunities don’t always come wrapped in an identifiable way.

Embrace learning:  You are never too old, too young or too smart to learn something new.

Be aware of self-inflected limitations:  Don’t be afraid to give something a chance just because it may be something you haven’t ever considered. (I’m only talking about the legal, ethical and moral aspects of life—to be clear).

Embrace networking:  Step outside of circles or influences that may limit new opportunities.

Seek guidance:  Don’t be afraid to ask for assistance and pick the brains of folks making positive forward strides.

Volunteer or intern:  By exposing others to your talents and abilities you can open more doors in the future.

Continue or start to work on making yourself a better more rounded individual:  Read, read and then read some more.  Invest in books, CD’s or seminars as learning tools.

Let it be known:  If Dr. Whatshisname isn’t aware that you have an interest in pharmacy how can he assist you.

Life is full of opportunities and those that are able to take advantage of them have one thing in common – they were prepared.

Five suggestions for resurrecting love

The loss of a loved one can have a devastating effect.   It can be especially difficult to overcome when the loved one left voluntarily.  No it wasn’t a death or an illness that took them away.  It was the break-up, the end of a relationship whether it entailed marriage or a mutual agreement of being together as one.  Over time life became or appeared to become so complicated that you just couldn’t take anymore.  The many things that could bring forth a smile now annoys to the point of etching a permanent frown on the face.  The time where the thought of being without that person could bring you to tears has passed only to be replaced by the tears that come from being with that person. 

The heart wants what it wants when and whom it may want—even if the one it wants no longer shares the emotion.  I don’t know if the organ can physically break in half, but it darn sure can feel like it has when pain enters its domain.  The sun doesn’t appear to shine as bright and the darkness of night isn’t welcome. 

Every love song being played on the radio or on the ever-present new wave listening device reminds you of lost times and the one that got away.  Your entire being screams, “What’s wrong with me?  Why couldn’t he/she love me for me?”  Answers don’t come with the questions and self-doubt creeps in like an uninvited guest that refuses to leave.  And the pain…oh my gosh…the pain.  No other word can aptly do it justice.  It can be explained in graphic detail, but in the end it all comes back to, pain. 

The ability to love can lead to the possibility of being hurt.  But even though there’s a probability of that fact, it shouldn’t make us run from love.  Life is full of the flip side of the coin.  Can we avoid or escape the negatives of life?  NO!  Can we take every encounter of life and learn and grow from them?  YES!

 

Life is love and love is life and all that comes with it.  Listed below are five suggestions for living a life of resurrected love:

 

1.    Seek to love yourself unconditionally: learn to accept that you are human and  capable of making mistakes.  Check yourself before trying to correct others.

2.    Seek to forgive yourself: once you make the inevitable mistakes, learn from them and move past them.  Be open to forgiving others.

3.    Seek to live with an open heart and mind: don’t block your blessings with self-imposed limitations.

4.    Seek to not settle for less than: don’t pick a mate based on your own shallowness, i.e. the car he/she drives or how good he/she may look.

5.    Seek to be honest with yourself at all times: the first partaker of a lie is the one speaking it.

 Remember we cannot make anyone love us, but we can certainly love ourselves.

Forgiveness is within

No matter our ethnicity, age, social bracket or even economic status, at some point in life all of us will seek to receive, give freely or even begrudgingly—forgiveness.  To err against another is as akin to mankind as stripes are to a zebra.  It may come in different patterns, but it’s still identifiable. When that happens we are faced with the challenge (and I do mean challenge) of choosing to forgive the transgressor or carry that transgression around as if it was a possession.

To forgive is to stop feeling angry or resentful toward (someone) for an offense, flaw, or mistake. How do men and women view forgiveness?  Are their thoughts on the matter universal?  In an attempt to answer those questions, I conducted an unscientific and random survey of 50 women and 50 men between the ages of 26 and 70.

Each individual was asked the following five questions. The questions were asked not for elaboration, but merely a yes or no answer and all parties involved consented to do so. The results were quite interesting and revealing despite its lack of science.

1.       Do you believe in forgiveness?

2.       Have you ever sincerely asked someone to forgive you?

3.       Do you consider yourself to be a forgiving person?

4.       Do you truly move past the incident once you have forgiven someone?

5.       Do you forgive yourself?

The findings were as follows:

1.       60% of the woman believed in forgiveness compared to 100% of the men.  

2.       Whereas 100% of women had sincerely asked for forgiveness, 20% of the men hadn’t.  

3.      While 100% of women considered themselves to be a forgiving person, only 60% of the men claimed likewise.  

4.      80% of the women surveyed said they do not move past the incident even though they claim to forgive.  Surprisingly 80% of the men stated they do move past the incident once forgiven. 

5.      The last question was indeed an eye opener.  When asked about forgiving oneself, each female surveyed responded quickly and without hesitation and 60% admitted to being capable of forgiving themselves.  When posed with the same question to a man each one paused and some even did so for over a minute or more before answering and 80% responded with a resounding no, they do not forgive themselves.

How would you answer the above listed five questions?  In all of us there is room for growth, improvement and change.  Let’s start with developing the ability to forgive and the first one that benefits from that should be—YOU.         

The English poet Alexander Pope (1688-1744) once wrote and it is so apt, “To err is human, to forgive divine.”

Every failure brings forth a result

Ever since man first attempted to build fire he has encountered many obstacles, hindrance and delays in his effort to accomplish something new.   Imagine that conversation if you were able to decipher grunts.

“What you doin’?” asked the big ugly dude wearing a bear-skin loin cloth.

“Tryin’ to make fire.”  The little dude answered kneeling beside some dry twigs holding a rock in each hand.
“What is fire?”
“I don’t know.”
“How you learn of fire?”
“I heard the women folk speaking.  They say if they had fire they can make skunk taste like chicken.”
“Hurry up and make fire.”

One can only surmise that it took many attempts and many failures before an ember sparked into a flame.  It was through man’s steadfast continuance in doing something despite difficulty he achieved success.  Fire was born of man’s perseverance.  Not to mention some finger licking good skunk meat.

We will all encounter situations and times in our lives where we may feel as if we’re holding on by our fingertips.  In those times you just have to hold on.  Don’t let go and don’t give up. Keep applying the firmest grip possible to the edge.  Glory is at hand.

Three steps to perseverance:

1.    Be committed:  

Have an “all in” mentality.  Go for it so you can make it happen.  Take a shot on yourself. The late Senator Robert Kennedy once said, “Only those that dare to fail greatly can achieve greatly.”

2.    Be steadfast:

Be firm in your belief and determination.  Did you know that Van Gogh only sold one painting during his life, but that didn’t stop him from completing over 800 paintings?  In 1990 one of his paintings sold for $82.5 million.

3.    Stay focused:  

Keep your eye on the prize.  No matter the number of setbacks, chalk it up as a result. Remember Thomas Edison claimed failure 1000 times before successfully inventing the light bulb.

Oftentimes we may turn back in the darkness when light is merely steps ahead.  After not winning a golf tournament in two years Ernie Els could have simply rested on past glory, but the Big E proved that he was a true champion of perseverance when he won the British Open on July 22, 2012.  He wasn’t merely an underdog; he wasn’t even considered a contender.  Not only did he show up, he showed out and beat some of the best golfers in the world.

Be like Ernie.  Don’t allow the losses of the past to prevent you from winning in the future. Adversity doesn’t build character, it reveals it.  Victory is at hand; all you must do is—persevere.

Three simple steps to resolution

With a collective “Amen” how many of us made a resolution at the beginning of the year that we have yet to accomplish? Well don’t get discouraged; ever since the Gregorian calendar was created folks get so excited about the possibilities associated with a fresh start. Then something happens. Life tends to get in the way of living. All of a sudden those resolutions don’t seem as important and the possibilities have morphed into improbabilities.

Now another year fast approaches as the new one has become old. Still waters may run deep but uncertainty merely floats on the surface. Days continue to shoot by as if shot from a cannon and all in all they blend together and share one commonality - they all end in ‘y’. This raises a question some may have, “Why am I in the same place, doing the same thing and wishing for change and it all stays the same?”

Here’s a tool to apply that might just fix that stagnation problem. It may not be anything new and it’s certainly not mystical or magical. It’s called, “Examination of Determination.” This is a way of examining ones’ life and determining where you are and where you desire to be. To benefit from the utilization of this tool, complete and utmost honesty is required.

How to proceed:

First Step:
Write down whatever date you decide to do this exercise. Example: August 9, 2012.
Under the date write down where you are at this time in your life. Write whatever comes to mind, such as lifestyle, habits (good and bad), living conditions, job, income, etc. The purpose is to fully examine your life.

Second Step:
Write down the same month and date but change the year to the previous one. 
Example: August 9, 2011.

Under the date write down where you saw yourself at that time. The purpose is to illustrate how far you may have come or if you are indeed in a stagnant state. You want to see what
changes or growth have occurred over the year.

Third Step:
Under the date write the same month and date, with the year being five years ahead of the first date. Example: August 9, 2017.

Under the date write down how you envision your life to be at that time. The purpose is to visualize yourself living the life you truly desire.

This simple exercise enables one to focus on what’s important as well as illuminating the fact there’s always work to do in order to get better, be better and live better.

Simplistic as this may be, keep in mind; the first step on the ladder of success starts with a step up.

From the State to the Pen

On June 22, 2012, 68 year old Jerry Sandusky was found guilty on 45 counts of child sexual abuse. Despite being investigated, charged, arrested and judged for his actions by a jury of his peers, Sandusky claims he is innocent and remains determined to clear his name.

It’s widely believed that Sandusky used his former position as a longtime defensive coordinator for the powerhouse Penn State University’s football team and his own charity Second Mile which he founded in 1977 as a hunting ground to prey on unsuspecting boys. He had faced 48 counts of abuse against 10 boys over a fifteen year period.

33 year old adopted son, Matt Sandusky has also accused Sandusky of molestation.

This horrific news story must serve greater notice that child sexual abuse isn’t a dirty little secret that only happens to someone else’s kid.   According to the American HumaneAssociation 9.3% of helpless children are sexually abused.  Even more staggering is the fact the percentage of maltreatment suffered by children exceeds 100 percent based on some children being subjected to more than one type.  That is both an eye opening and heart breaking statistic.  Reportedly both sexes of child are just as likely to experience maltreatment.

It may take a village to raise a child, but just one to protect one.  Children need to be loved and nurtured and not become victims of sadistic predators seeking fulfillment of their perverted desires on the least helpless of society.  Sexual abuse is wrong on any level and definitely an abomination when it happens to an innocent child.

Child abuse must be eradicated.  Become an advocate for the overall well being of children everywhere. To learn more about this dreadful plight, please visit: http://www.americanhumane.org/children/programs/child-abuse-neglect-prevention/

Choices: The birthright of life

No matter how much you succeed in life or who you are, you can still fall prey to temptation, lust, greed, and have your faith and beliefs shaken ­— if not completely stirred.  But before the final chapter is written, keep in mind that you possess free will to make your own choices.  In facing the reflected truth as you gaze in the mirror of self-revelations, you must admit that no one can make you do anything you don’t really wish to do, especially if you have the faith in yourself to persevere in even the most arduous endeavors you face.

In today’s society just about anyone can become famous or infamous within the flash of a camera.  Then quickly they become our idols and celebrities that embody the perfect lives that one can only dream about.  Strangely, when one of the elite makes a mistake, a sadistic glee rears up once the disappointment of feeling betrayed passes.  Often the supposition may be that somehow the fall of the mighty in some ways lifts us up.  Truth be told, it absolutely doesn’t.  It simply illustrates that elevation of our souls is within each of us and it begins with our process of making choices.

Choices are inextricably packaged with a person’s beliefs, paradigms, behaviors, and the ability to deal with the consequences of one’s action.  There exists within everyone an innate ability to make their own choices.  But with choice, there is also a measure of both accountability and responsibility.  Too often when one is faced with an unfavorable result (failure), there becomes a tendency to mask the result in excuses, rationalizations, or explanations rather than admit that it was an unwise choice that may have caused the end result.

Ironically the same mediums that elevate folk to celebrity status normally depict a storyline where adversity reveals the building of character.  In actuality, adversity doesn’t build character it reveals it. Character isn’t determined by how one conducts themselves when the choices are easy and comfortable, but rather how one conducts themselves when life is tough.

The mental process of thinking to determine a selection of multiple alternatives is one definition of choice.  While the media may showcase the flawed choices of the famous and others, instead of passing judgment and ganging up on those that fall due to unwise choices, it would be better served to learn a lesson that can be applied to one’s life.

In making those applications, ask yourself “How do I make choices in my life?”  Five simple steps may assist you:   

1. Think it out. Ask the right questions. Is this the right thing to do? How will this affect me and others? Why am I doing this?
2. Take ownership and be willing to deal with the consequences.  
3. Accept responsibility for your actions.  
4. Be accountable for your actions.
5. Be honest with yourself.

The more you practice these five simple steps, the better you can become in making rational, intelligent choices that lead you forward—not standing in place, going backwards, or living a life full of regrets.  Give it a shot.  It’s your choice and it is a birthright.

From my heart to yours.

Let your light shine this year! Let your spirit run free!
Take the time to stand at the water’s edge and look out over the vastness and
the seemingly endless view and shout to the heavens, “As far as the eye can see
and beyond there exist endless possibilities and they start with my choices.”

Feel it, believe it, have faith and most importantly...live
it! Yes, we are living in uncertain times, but if you review history, times
always appear to be uncertain in some form or fashion. That’s why I’m a big
proponent of living life until the end. I’ve become known for saying, “You
never know where life will take you, so just keep living.”

Where are you headed in your life this newly christened
year? Are you going go back to school? How about changing careers? Really
increase your exercise to help decrease your mid-section? Have better control
of your finances? Remove yourself from that unhealthy relationship? Or stop
overindulging in the liquid spirits or stop using street and prescribed drugs
as a way of coping with life’s challenges? I could go on and on.

It all starts with your choices. If you can (and I encourage
you to try) don’t complicate issues. Keep it simple. Simply give yourself permission
to live. Then do it! Take action where needed and attempt to remove, replace
and do away with as much self-inflicted negativity as possible.

I was privileged to meet an older wiser man named Henry
Walker during a down period of my life. The gentleman was a resident of a
nursing home. In my role as a volunteer, it was our responsibility to visit
certain institutions and report on findings of poor care, neglect, etc. One day
Mr. Walker asked me to read a letter to him he’d received from his daughter.
While we were interacting, he commented that I wasn’t my normal outgoing and
chipper self. That led to us having a conversation. During the talk I noticed
that Mr. Walker never stopped smiling. Then again over a two year period I had
the blessing of knowing him, I can’t remember him not having a smile on his
lips and a shine in his watery eyes. I can’t tell you how much his words meant
to me and how often I’ve put into action the advice he shared with me that day.
Little did I know that as he spoke to me and made it a point to lift me up, he
was actually dying. Even in what I considered—a dark hour—this man still took
the time to speak life into me. Mr. Walker died thirty minutes after I left his
room. I’m told that he died with a smile on his face.

When I met his daughter she told me that her father had a
tremendous passion for life and a great compassion for people. She said, “No
matter what, my Dad could always find the silver lining in the darkest of
clouds. He truly believed that each day was a new beginning.”

As I was leaving his room that day he spoke words that I
repeat and live by till this day, “You never know where life will take you, so
just keep living.”

I pray that contained in the above words there is food for
thought and nourishment for the soul.

Happy living in this New Year!